Making Good Choices

Paris was amazing! Beautiful, romantic and perfect weather. It was an excellent choice for celebrating our 20th Anniversary. It felt so good to just be and not feel the need to do or be on the clock. My life, at this stage, is largely schedule keeper and chauffeur. In Paris, my husband handled all the travel arrangements and we simply did as we pleased when we pleased. It was a wonderful break from the rigors of running a household.

Of course, you don't go across the sea and leave your children for a week without returning with some gifts. So we brought back little gifts for each of the kids that we thought would bless them specifically. Sarah got a scarf and a compact with "Paris" on it. Rachel got a very large coffee mug for her milk and cookies addiction and some French chocolate. David got a ball cap with "Paris" on it, and John got wrist bands and playing cards. (with "Paris" on them; see the theme?)

Now some of you can already see the problem because one of those 4 kids only got one gift while the others all got 2 gifts. So the obvious question came out: "Is my gift the most expensive, Mom?".

A sense of fairness is buried deep in the heart of all God's children. I think this is what makes God's grace so difficult to understand. It doesn't seem fair that some are forgiven in the last hour while others walk with the Lord the majority of their lives and yet we all enter into the same rest at the end of it all. We want to know we are special, but the trap is trying to determine that by comparing ourselves to others. The truth is that we are special, wonderful and fearfully made. All God's works are wonderful and He wants us to know that full well. (Psalm 139)

So of course the answer was "Yes, your gift was the most expensive, David." And then the bickering ensued about who had gotten the best gift and was therefore the most loved child. I seem to remember the disciples (and their mom) asking Jesus this very same question in the gospels.

We eventually intervened with the sage wisdom of homeschool parents that are always looking for those teachable moments.

Mom: "You know, if buying gifts makes you guys fight, then we just need to stop buying you gifts."

David: "No, Mom. The gifts don't make us fight. We choose to fight, so buying us gifts is fine."

I was both delighted and disturbed at that exchange. They get it. We make choices about our responses to gifts and curses. Our perspective can change our interpretation of every circumstance. If God is good, then even the bad things have a purpose.

So in the end, I think my kids enjoyed getting the gifts and really missed us. That was evidenced by the way we all sat on the couch under a blanket and snuggled together shortly after returning. But I also think they just like to argue with each other too. Another Homeschool Success Story!