Character

When my kids were young I largely just wanted them to obey me. Life seemed very chaotic and obedient children make it less chaotic. But kids aren't always very good at obeying. In fact, you have to train them to obey. Part of our daily routine was standing in different rooms, calling their name and giving them m&m's when they came. (Yes, it does sound like training a dog.) But they loved it and to this day, my kids come when I call them and I love that about them.

But as they have gotten older, obedience has been less the goal and more a hope. I hope they will obey the Lord, but we all make choices about what we believe and at some point everyone needs to test the boundaries. I think this is where character starts to play a role.

I know as a parent, I have worked pretty hard to limit the "bad" in my kids life. I am pretty uptight about who gets access to my kids. Thankfully, God has brought some wonderful people into our lives like our piano teacher and martial arts sensei. My son had a great football coach for the two years he gave football a try. But sometimes they get a bad coach or teacher or life just gets unfair and that is when their character or lack thereof is revealed.

Recently, my daughter's swing choir partner was in a fight at school and taken to jail on the day of their concert. It was a pretty crazy day. She spent the rest of the day with another young man trying to learn the dances but he was only able to do one of them. So at the concert that night, I did not beam during her vocal solo but rather when she was dancing alone during the finale with the other swing choir kids and giving it her all. Honestly, I cried through it, it was so beautiful to me. We celebrated the evening with buy one get one free blizzards.

That same night I went to our local playhouse to pick up two of my other kids after their final dress rehearsal before their big play - Mulan Jr. They both offered to stay late and run the entire show one more time for the sake of the double cast lead who had not had a chance to do her final dress rehearsal. Amazingly, they both knew everyone's part and even their blocking and entrances. It was an absolute joy to watch them help this gal while having a blast too. What makes it that much sweeter, is my daughter really wanted the lead and instead got the bad guy. But that didn't stop her in any way from going the extra mile when the need arose. I see that as character. And btw, she nailed the bad guy role. She was larger than life and even had a fight scene, she choreographed herself, where she is thrown across the stage. Once again, I cried watching my kids go the extra mile.

So if we shelter them, can they learn character? To be honest, I worked pretty hard at sheltering them when they were young largely out of fear, and yet the world found its way in. Homeschooling was wonderful for so many reasons. But I also knew that I couldn't really teach my kids about bullies at home or how to discern who will make a good friend. It hurts to watch your kids learn these things. But these things might be more important than algebra and grammar.

So today I rejoice in watching young men and women in my home make hard choices at a level of personal sacrifice. I believe it makes God smile because it certainly makes their proud mama smile. I will consider that Another Homeschool Success Story!