Considering my last post was 2 years ago, I think you can assume that this stage of life is pretty full. I really had this notion in my head that when my children turned 18 years old, I would be able to take my foot off the gas and coast for the rest of the ride until perhaps grandkids or something. So wrong!!
That has not been my experience at all as I have helped release, launch, jettison, etc. my children into the world. It almost seems like they need me more than ever. I'm actually trying to figure out where I picked up the 18 and gone mentality. No idea, but do yourself a favor and let that go. It makes for a lot less disappointment when they need you so much.
Now I will say the type of need changes.
Part of what they need is money. So see if you can put some together before you get here. College students are really poor and yet we give them a lot of money. Can't seem to understand that math either, but get a plan.
They also need some really good cheerleading. This is where we really need to become aware of any critical speech patterns mom and dad. They have been in your house for a long time so they know what you believe and why. It's time they know without a doubt that you believe in them! They will make some really bad choices during this time and then do something that makes you so proud you burst into tears. This is the corkscrew part of the roller coaster ride you have been on with them since birth. Go the extra mile in whatever that kids love language is and let them know you are for them and you know they can do it. With one kid it's been photography equipment, with another its been a monthly box of soup. You know them. Encourage the heck out of them and be their greatest cheerleader!
The last thought might surprise you. Get a life!
As our last son flew the coup this past year, my husband and I renewed our vows with our kids standing up with us so they knew we were going to be ok! To quote Mike Wizowski, "Go ahead, go grow up!" Our kids find freedom to go and explore and fail and get up and try again as we do the same. I promise you they will pick some paths that just feel like the worst idea to you as a parent! And then God will intervene, probably not on your time table, and help them reset their course. But that's the key. God has to do it. Not us.
In many ways we need to accept a new role in our kids lives and believe me its hard to do! I can fall into the broken thinking of this is my little investment and I need to make sure it performs well. But they are not. They are people with hopes and dreams that are still being formed. They know you are there. They will come find you if they need you and its ok to check in. But then leave them alone!
Sit back, make some popcorn and enjoy the show! It will make you cry, laugh, break your heart and then suddenly you will feel a form of satisfaction and delight you weren't sure was available on this side of heaven. But I promise you will feel it all, so make sure you have a life too! That truly gives our kids the permission to let go of us as we let go of them. It's a gift not enough of us parents are offering our kids in this generation. You can't be called a helicopter and bulldozer generation of parents and be good at letting go. But we make a choice mom and dad.
It comes back to faith. If God is not bigger and more powerful and more loving than me, then I would never them go. But He is so I can release. You can too! So rejoice that you will get to watch this movie and be on the ride for the rest of your days. What a privilege and honor! I promise, you will look back no matter how the movie ends and you will say to yourself "Another homeschool success story!".
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